oh sugar, sugar...

i had ice cream cake yesterday.  the first real sugar in nearly 12 days.

my coworker and i had an agreement, long before i quit sugar, that we would buy me an ice cream cake.  and yesterday he did.  i must admit that i was apathetic about the whole thing, which is odd for anyone who knows how much i LOVED ice cream cake (that was my only birthday request last year).  this apathy was a pleasant surprise. 

i agreed to eat it because it was technically a "celebration cake," so i cut myself a piece with the most icing and dug in.

i was immediately sick.  miserable.  bloated.  as good as it tasted for that temporary moment, the torture afterward was not worth it.  i struggled through the rest of the afternoon, feeling tired and sluggish, near the edge of throwing up.  a resolve grew slowly deep in me and i knew i wouldn't struggle with the remainder of the cake being in the ice cream.

the truth is, as hard as it was, that was a good experience for me.  it was like it became my decision.  i owned it.  before it was still my choice, obviously, but it still felt like deprivation.  i still longed for cookies after a long day, or for chocolate when i was tired.  but after the ice cream cake, it became a conscious decision.  i knew why i stopped consuming sugars/breads, and i felt joyful about the future of food, instead of dreading it.

many have asked why i've stopped consuming sugar, so i'm including a link to several articles addressing the issue:
More info on sugar